10 Common Reasons People Avoid Therapy (And Why We Get It)
/Let’s be honest: therapy can feel like a lot. Emotionally. Logistically. Financially. Existentially. There are many reasons why people don’t go to therapy—and we don’t take them lightly. Here are the top 10 we hear most often, and what might be going on underneath.
1. “I don’t need to pay someone to talk to. I have friends.”
Friends are the best. There’s nothing like being truly known by someone who’s seen you through it all. But therapy isn’t just conversation. It’s a relationship built for reflection, not reciprocity. Your therapist isn’t chiming in with their own story or needing you to ask how they’re doing. They’re trained to notice patterns, contradictions, longings—things that might be invisible even to you. The focus isn’t just on what happened—it’s on what it means, and how it lives in you now.
2. “I take meds, so I’m good.”
Medication can be life-changing. And also: medication doesn’t teach you how to set boundaries, repair a rupture, or understand why your boss’s tone sends you spiraling. You can feel better and still want more clarity about your internal world.
3. “Therapy is too expensive.”
This one’s real. Therapy is an investment. But so is burnout, procrastination, and trying to patch things together with apps and podcasts. If cost is a barrier, it’s worth exploring sliding scale or time-limited options. (Yes, they exist. Yes, we can help.)
4. “I don’t have time.”
Of course you don’t. You’re a modern human in late-stage capitalism. But if life constantly feels like too much, and you can’t imagine squeezing in therapy, that may be a sign something’s already giving. Therapy can help you figure out what.
5. “My problems aren’t that bad. Other people have it worse.”
This is the emotional equivalent of not going to the doctor because someone else has cancer. Your pain doesn’t need to be the worst in the room to deserve care.
6. “If I go to therapy, it means I’m broken.”
Needing support doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human. Therapy isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign you’re paying attention.
7. “I wouldn’t have anything to say.”
You’d be surprised what emerges in the quiet. Silence is welcome in therapy. So is “I don’t know what I’m doing here.” Start there.
8. “I’m not going there.”
Sometimes the thing we’re avoiding is exactly where the work is. If even thinking about talking about it makes you queasy, just know you don’t need to spill everything on day one. Therapists are trained to go at your pace—or help you notice when part of you might want a gentle push, even if you’re not ready to go all in.
9. “The past is in the past.”
Sure—but it has a way of showing up in the present. If you keep reacting in ways you don’t understand or finding yourself in the same patterns, you might be living out an old script without realizing it. Therapy helps you name it, revise it, and maybe even put it down.
10. “I had a terrible experience in therapy.”
That can be deeply disappointing, even destabilizing. A bad therapy experience can make you swear off the whole thing. But reflecting on what didn’t work might help you find what could. The right fit really does change everything. (Here’s how to start your search →)
Bonus Round:
“It’s self-indulgent.”
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s responsible.“Working out is my therapy.”
Endorphins are awesome. But your trainer probably isn’t trained in attachment theory.“What’s the point in talking about it?”
If you’ve asked that more than once… maybe you should talk about it.“Finding a therapist is overwhelming.”
The Bottom Line
You don’t have to be in crisis to go to therapy. You just have to be curious about why you feel the way you do—and open to the possibility that deeper self-knowledge could help you feel more authentic, more fulfilled, and a little more at ease.