As a parent, one of the most important things you’ll do is create a bond with your child. But have you ever wondered what makes a bond “secure” or how you can help ensure that your child develops a secure attachment? 

Birthing individuals undergo many changes during conception, pregnancy, and postpartum recovery that often have impacts on their mental health. Parents who practice mindfulness are more likely to have greater self-compassion. Studies have shown that practicing mindfulness exercises for as little as three minutes daily can have significant and long-lasting improvements in one’s mental health.

Most people don’t look forward to fighting with their partner. Conflict with your partner can be painful. However, if done effectively,  it can also create positive change and help you and your partner learn more about each other. As a couples therapist, I consistently witness the power of increased understanding and compassion that comes from fighting.

Picture this: You are all ready for your first night out in over six months, but just as you get to the front door you start to feel an uneasiness in your stomach, a tightening in your chest, and a heavy heart. You start to wonder if your baby will miss you, if your partner will feed her correctly, if maybe you should just stay home…

Cue the mom guilt spiral.

When struggling with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), life can feel scary and limiting. Intrusive symptoms of PTSD can look like being haunted by unwanted memories of the traumatic event, having intense physical sensations like heart palpitations or sweating, experiencing strong emotions of fear, anger, or shame when reminded of the trauma, and enduring flashbacks of the event. These intrusive symptoms indicate that something about the event still needs to be processed. However, these symptoms are so distressing and confusing that many people develop beliefs such as, “I’m going crazy,” and “I can’t handle this,” and start avoiding reminders of the trauma that bring up these symptoms. 

While the holiday season may be regarded with warmth, twinkling lights, and holiday cookies for some, it can activate (and trigger) unpleasant or traumatic experiences for others. This is where dialectical thinking comes into play – the reality that seemingly competing perspectives can both be true and co-exist. For example, “Your parents did the best they knew how in raising you and it still wasn’t enough”. 

The process of initiating couples therapy can be particularly daunting. Not only are you entrusting a total stranger to share your most intimate and difficult internal experiences with, but you’re doing it with your partner. Often, this is the person who matters the most to you, and right now, the relationship may feel rocky. Let’s take a second to honor this. Coming to couples therapy requires a real leap of faith that this therapist may be able to help you and your partner and bring you to solid ground. To assist with this leap, I’ll address a few of the biggest blocks couples face in beginning treatment.

The holidays often mean spending more time than usual with extended family. This means that parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, great aunts, etc. may be spending more time with your children. This can be a great thing, as loving relationships with relatives are a good for a child’s social development, self-esteem, and even cognitive skills. Nonetheless, conflict can arise when a family member has different ideas than the parent about how to best raise children.

So how exactly do we save ourselves from this anxiety riptide? The answer lies in changing our relationship to our anxiety,  and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT (pronounced ‘act’), can help us with this. 

Although today’s culture is more open about discussing women’s mental health, pregnancy loss continues to be a topic seldom discussed. This silence around a common occurrence (10-25% of pregnancies are lost) can lead to feelings of isolation for the birthing partner and close family. Additionally, the lack of information can leave friends and family wondering how to show up for their loved ones and support them after loss. While every person’s experience of pregnancy loss is different, here are some general suggestions to help you be there for your loved ones.

In parenthood there is often a desire and pressure to get it right, but not just right, perfect. The perfect schedule, the perfect educational toys, the perfect amount of independent play versus structured play, the perfect sleep schedule, the perfect amount of screen time, the perfect weight, the perfect latch, and so on, and so on…

Your child asks for water. You give your child some water. And suddenly the screaming starts…What is going on? The water could have the wrong temperature, could be in the wrong cup, your child may not like the way you handed them the water – who knows. The one thing that is clear is that your child is about to have a tantrum. Read on to learn what tantrums are, why they happen, how to deal with them, and better yet, how to prevent them. 

Are you looking for help to manage your stress? Here are steps you can take to feel more calm and in control.

Society has conditioned us to view anger as a bad emotion. However, the experience of anger in and of itself is not a bad thing. Emotions-including anger-are neither good nor bad. All emotions have functions.

While it is important to understand and feel our emotions, not every occasion is appropriate or useful for doing so. You can use these simple grounding techniques to help you detach from emotional pain that isn’t effective for you to feel in the moment. Grounding techniques work by shifting your attention and focus to something other than the difficult emotions or thoughts you are experiencing. 

When a baby is born, many assume that the birthing parent will be nothing less than overjoyed. However, it is more typical for birthing parents to experience a range of complex emotions after bringing a baby into the world. When these emotions become predominantly negative and longstanding, leaving parents feeling like they don’t know what to do, where to turn, or whom to ask for help, they may be experiencing Postpartum Depression (PPD).

As the “mental health generation” prepares to walk down the aisle, psychologically-minded couples are considering premarital counseling to start their unions on the right foot. Despite this growing interest, many couples wonder: what is premarital counseling, anyway? 

Feeling like you want to break up with your therapist is scary and confusing territory, so much so that it often creates urges to ignore your feelings, lie about your reason for ending, or ghost your therapist altogether.  First, a caveat* – if your therapist has crossed a clear ethical boundary, acted inappropriately, or made you feel unsafe, leave as soon and as abruptly as you want.

Dating, especially in New York City, is not for the faint of heart. This is one of the most discussed topics for our single clients. We caught up with Dr. Nadia Nieves for her advice on how to deal with some common dating concerns we hear from our clients.

We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be happy. Like all emotions, happiness is a state - which means it’s transient and changes. So, we can’t be happy ALL the time, despite whatever new fad out there claims. It’s healthy to experience a range of emotions!⁠
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